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1:30 P.M. on a Tuesday
And for what seemed like eternity, time stood still
Babe I have nothing to wear tonight!
Checking the mail IRL
Chivalry is buying your friends that are girls drinks
Crispy bud light
Ew, he's calling me. What a psycho
Happy Mother's Day to every girl in a relationship
He keeps screenshotting all my snaps
Hold on just a few minutes while I find the mace
I don't take advice from other people
I don't work out. I just walk everywhere really really fast.
I know!!! It's so good to see you too!!!
I rate my enjoyment of things
I think I think too much
I'm confident, right guys?
I'm not being modest, I actually suck
If you see any good content
If your girlfriend says nothing's wrong she's about to kill you
If your selfie is only getting ten likes just delete it
In hell group photo
It tastes like we shouldn't have come here sober
Just bring me whatever has the most calories per dollar
Late night scroll
Let America Swipe Again
Let's play a game
Let's talk about that all-caps email